One of those crazy times!

A queer village. The trek had indeed been tiring.
Pitch dark night. Yesterday's rain has brought along some chilling cold as well.
Anky's normally a sound sleeper(momma says once slept, he wouldn't get up even in an earthquake) .
But there's something happening outside.
Some activity. Something bizarre.
He gets up out of his bed. Friends are sleeping calmly. Goes outside.
Tens of people...looking all dumbstruck. Can't see much, can't make anything.
Suddenly sees a familiar face, yes she's SHE.
His one time crush. Had last met her years ago.
Standing alone. Befuddled, still calm...cherubic as ever.
They start talking. As if between them things are as cozy as yesterday.
Looks like she's feeling dizzy. He takes her inside. Helps her lie down on bed.
Watches her feet, has lots of hair...was she like that then as well?
Where are his other friends, had they not slept besides him? Crazy.
He too lies on another bed.
"So any kids?" He asks.
"One. Aborted it just now".
He sees her blood-filled hands...s**t...how the hell had he not noticed it before!
"Husband?" Did he mutter it loud enuf?...she points her blood-stained finger towards the corner in room.
Same place where he had put his ruksack, he sees two gory heads...without any bodies...blood sputtering incessantly like jets in all directions. Grotesque.
Desperately tries to shout aloud...but something is stiffling his voice.
Looks at her...Blood's coming off her eyes...or are they tears...she's got up staring at him...sanguinely serene...frighteningly calm.
He tries to put the bedsheet away...but he's choking...not able to speak...not able to move...
One last try to shout from guts. Fails miserably. Gives up...tries to get up in frustration.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sits up in bed...Wipes the sweat droplets.
Obscure indeed...such a wild, crazy dream...it takes him seconds...which feel like hours...to realize that.
He's still restless...Roommie is blissfully unaware of his plight, snoring slightly.
Just tries to shake off the thoughts...tries thinking of tomorrow's cricket match...SHE simply doesn't go away.
Tries to think of good times with her...Fan suddenly starts looking like an ogre.
Picks up the pillow n changes the direction of sleeping...Helps...
Anky's once again in his dreamland...Whatz next???
Song of the moment : Bhay ithale sampat nahi - Lata Mangeshkar
i remain.
9 Comments:
ha ha ha ha
Crazy da..Which movie you saw last?? btw you didn't reveal the identity of SHE :-?
-Priti
next comes the highlights of the match between india n england after a short break .. stay tuned :)
God... and I thought SHE was just a character from a movie / book that gave you this nightmare! What was that Anks... dreams can't be this bad just like that. Made my hairs stand even reading it!
Vikrant
As far as amateur writing goes - great stuff!! There is stuff that could have been left out perhaps - but there are strokes of genius too.
The small sentences go towards building the tension. So I didn't like the question after line2. I liked the momma says comment though - probably because it a little relief from the tension that is starting to build.
Great build up - of course male readers are by now hoping that our hero gets lucky with his old crush :).
Great change of mood - I *loved* the "Aborted it just now" part!! Freaky!
A little too much detail after he gets up - now that the tension is released, u'r job is to finish the story asap. Also, fewer ellipses please ... :)
good stuff overall!! keep writing
@suraj : Thanks for gr8 review.
Promptly removed the unwanted.
gr8 stuff dude.. u did throw readers off track for a minute.. weird yes.. but cool
Every time i come here to drop a comment, i happen to read the blog one more time and that puts me off from any writing... leaves me shocked, on many levels, first the really horrible dream - one which you would not even dream(pun not intended) for an a enemy, secondly - anky wrote it, seems like there might as well be more to anky than just working for a MNC, and thirdly reminds me of the lady on my "Neem-ka-ped", who i still think sometimes as very existential... Pure hair-raiser...
Anky, keep it up...
PS: i did not read the blog before i wrote this today.... ;)
i enjoyed it ....
ha ha ha...:) thats a cool dream, dude! crazy dream? should I say?
-Janu
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